Monday, January 23, 2006

"You can't handle the truth!!!"

I have no real basis for this and I cannot prove it, but I think there is some sort of cosmic goodness scale that can allow us to determine how good a movie is going to be based on the people associated with it. The way to determine whether or not a movie is going to be good would be by adding the goodness points of all the main players in the movie together. Some would have negative and some would positive scores. This would allow you to determine if a movie would be slightly good, slightly bad, very good, horrible, instant classic, ect. For example on of the greatest movies ever made was A Few Good Men. Tom Cruise, Jack Nicholson, Kevin Bacon, Keifer Sutherland, Christopher Guest (he was the doctor), Kevin Pollack, and the list keeps going and going. This movie is off the charts with positive points. The only definite existence of negative points would be Demi Moore, and while that would be a formidable number to combat, this movie still rates highly. Another example would be the cast of Much Ado About Nothing (Kenneth Branagh, Robert Sean Leonard, Emma Thompson, Denzel Washington, Michael Keaton, ect more than covering Keanu's negative point impact.)
On the flip side, think of a horrible movie. IMDB has "From Justin to Kelley" rated as one of the worst movies ever (being narrowly edged out for first by "Anus Magillicutty"). I can't think of a single good star in those movies and obviously everyone major associated with this movie was sporting some serious negative points. Which leads me to the usefulness of this system of rating movies.
If movies are a reflection of the points of those associated with them, we may be able to determine if society has misjudged an actor, based on the points of a current. Someone whom the media adores makes a horrible movie, perhaps we should re-evaluate how good that person actually is. Trust me, this system works. The truth is you want this system, you need this system and instead of questioning the manner in which this system works I would prefer that you just said thank you and used the system or you can pick up a copy of Premiere and help me fine tune the system. Either way I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to. Are we clear?

2 Comments:

At 11:38 AM, Blogger James said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 11:39 AM, Blogger James said...

Do The Right Thing

That movie was terrible.

That guy Spike Lee is a menace and is probably worth one-billion negative points.

 

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